01 January 2009

Those new year resolutions in full

hfconwatch wishes all readers a very happy 2009.

We can also reveal exclusively the new year resolutions made by Tory cabinet members at H&F council:

Cllr Stephen Greenhalgh, leader: "I will not make all the council staff redundant again in 2009. I will try and lose a few pounds this year off my pay rise. And I promise not to spend council taxpayers' money on scaremongering about Charing Cross hospital, super sewers or the district line. I am looking for new ideas to distract residents before May 2010."

Cllr Paul Bristow, cabinet member for residents services: "I look forward to riding around our parks in preparation for our international polo tournament in Fulham this summer. Now I have stopped blogging, I have more time to devote to my new constituency in Middlesbrough. Having relocated H&F council's call centre to Rochdale, I will endeavour to transfer other essential council services to boost the economy in the north east."

Cllr Nick Botterill, deputy leader: "We will make recyling of garden waste our number one priority. Recycling is too easy and we will be looking at ways to make it impossible for residents this year. We will continue to attract as many cars as possible to our borough. I will also be concentrating on developing our secret budget for the 2010 council elections, without any cuts of course."

Cllr Lucy Ivimy, cabinet member for housing: "I will try and be nice to all our tenants this year. Sometimes I am misunderstood, so I will attempt to be clearer this year. We will demolish all council housing and redevelop all our estates as soon as possible."

Cllr Mark Loveday, cabinet member for strategy: "With less than 18 months to the council elections, I will be doing everything possible to progress the replacement of H&F townhall with Westfield mark II. Why should Shepherds Bush residents be the only ones lucky enough to have traffic congestion locally? And we do need a Waitrose close to where I live."

Cllr Antony Lillis, cabinet member for lots of things: "I promise not to break any more of our election manifesto commitments. We will continue our reorganisation of schools, opening several new French schools and relocating all secondary schools. The new school in Shepherds Bush will be named the Fulham academy."

Cllr Frances Stainton, chief whip: "None of our 33 Tory councillors will be allowed to visit Dubai this year. Anyone caught in the country will be sent to stand in Shepherds Bush."

Cllr Greg Smith, cabinet member for crime: "We will explore new ways to engineer crime statistics to show that the whole borough is benefiting from my experiments. To pay for extra policing, we will introduce new charges based on the number of crimes in your street."

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